Monday, December 28, 2009

Are You a Good Listener ???


Most people think they are good listeners, but the truth is many of us are better at telling our own story than listening to someone else's. Remember, knowing how to listen properly is as essential to good communication as talking.

That said, the idea that you can be a good listener all the time is self-defeating, especially when it's with a partner you see every day. If you want to listen wellm choose the discussions that really matter and focus on those. Then the other person will know that when it's important, you'll make the effort to be attentive.

When you're listening, maintain focus solely on them. Being a good listener means first making it clear that you truly want to hear what they have to say. But, contrary to what most people think, eye contact isn't necessarily the most important thing - psychoanalysts are the best listeners, yet they rarely make eye contact. They usually have their feet up and are staring at the fish tank, yet they're absorbing everything.

Bite your tongue. resist the temptation to argue, or even offer your own opinion. A debate, when they express themselves, then you reply with a string of questions, is unusually unsatisfying. No one feels they've really been understood. It's better to put your own agenda aside and let this all be about the other person. If you sense they want your feedback, ask questions.

Repeat and expound. The biggest mistake people make is not acknowledging what the other person has actually said. Before the conversation moves on, make it clear that you understand what their point was. People feel listened to and undertood when they are prompted on specifics, and when you ask for more details.

18 comments:

roffe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
roffe said...

I am not a good listener.. I like to talk..

JaJOL said...

i luv being a listener... at the same time, i luv to talk... hehe

sapisays said...

i'm very good listener, that people say about me :)

dfian said...

:) i'm too

Pontianak Undercover said...

yeah..me too B-)

blog zone said...

hhmmm..not too bad a lot of comments

SOFiA! said...

I love talking, that's for sure. :)))

lina@happy family said...

Great post. I really need this...

NiNa' said...

sometime, i'm a good listener =D

satria said...

thank's for info......... keep write and keep ur smile. so sweet

フェブリヤント said...

hmm, when i being bad listener so i change direction to be a hearer.. hha, lol

biztoone said...

nice info

ekko priyono said...

good info
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Prie said...

hmmm ...if i a good listener,

Prie said...

hmmm ...if i a good listener,

defchania said...

met mlm

amelia said...

i AGREE ! especially Blogger Forum Official Staff have to read this.. -_- they keep told me unnecessary information and article without answer my questions...

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